Why On Earth Did I Think That This Would Be A Good Idea?

So here we all are 

At the engagement barbecue 

Your friend is going to marry my ex

The one I left you for

This summer’s afternoon 

Nearly five years since I was here

Your friend

Pale and handsome

Paul wearing a waistcoat 

His mother and sister are here

Drowning gin and tonics in the lounge

They seem to avoid me, possibly

Because I was the one who slung

His hifi out of the window

But that was long before you and I were

Before Portsmouth and Southsea

Before Southampton and The Magnum

But the last time I was in this house - 

I can hardly speak - The last time

Was the day they buried you

And I remember your father

Who had barely acknowledged you

Breaking down on Bar Gate Street

And that day, your poor body

The only thing the same, your hands.